Letters from Sam To:

Ren

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Ren,

Let me start with an apology, I know I should have called, but things around here started moving too quickly to allow for it. I know, this is one of those things that you make time for, and I wanted time to… discuss. It didn’t work out.

I don’t blame you if you have a low opinion of me now, as a matter of fact, with a lot of thought, it’s practically expected. The only thing I can possibly say is that if we weren’t drinking, I can assure you that I wouldn’t have taken advantage of you. Something I swore to myself wouldn’t happen, something that shouldn’t have happened. Especially not with our friendship being what it is. You are my closest friend Ren, and I know that things between us now will never be the same.

I won’t be stupid this time around, I won’t read into it for more then what it was, we are (were) friends, we know each other well, and between the drinking, and the loneliness we felt, we ended up where we did. I will admit, four months ago, I wouldn’t have known better, but I saw your face the moment he walked in. I saw you look at me, and though part of me wants to argue it was the fact that we were caught, it is partially because it was me.

We have a lot to discuss, were I not such a coward, it wouldn’t be what could easily turn into months between now and the next time we speak. I will be thinking of you often, and hopefully you’ll think of me.

Sam

—

**Looking at the words he shook his head, they fell short of what he wanted to say, though they were at least sincere. He wasn’t going to read anything into the memories, wasn’t going to convince himself that it was more then just them being drunk, frustrated, and friends. Things always looked better in a memory, your mind wanted to emphasize the good points, and that night… while there was a lot worth remembering, he’d broken his word to her, and her trust.

Life… should not be this complicated.**

*Ren read it. Three times. Then she groaned. God she had messed up. She looked over at her other letters and was actually kinda of glad to have started with Sam’s. Nothing could be this hard. She shook her head and grabbed a pen, hoping Lissa would squeeze one more letter through*

Sam,
Please don’t apologize. And you didn’t take advantage of me. I am the one that pushed the envelope. I really want to speak to you before you get all these weird ideas like it didn’t matter or that it was less than what it was. I’m not staying it was more= but it was definetly not LESS. Do you get what I am saying? I hope so. I am not good at the writing stuff. I hope you know what you mean to me- at least a little. If not, just remember that kiss- okay?
~REN~

Ren, no matter what I remember a few things.

- I asked for more drinks.
- I kissed you.

I easily could have ended the night with a handshake and no drinking.

I am not saying it had no meaning, it was there, I am saying...

*deep sighs* We really need to talk.

Sam