Okay, that’s it. Looks like it’s done. I kind of can’t believe it.

I have packed up all of UG, worst case scenario, if I can’t get net by next year all of that is safe, AG on the other hand… :/ well does it matter? Emmie’s just going to have to make out with Sammy all over again, so’s Wyllow and Jake, Dylan and Sarah. Aw fuck, never mind, I am not sleeping tonight, I am not making you all do that again. (Like me sleeping was an option.)

To all the house mates, I’ll be sure to keep an eye on everyone, document their adventures where I can, and in general make sure that they all make it through this okay.  I think I speak for each and every one of mine when I say, your faces will be missed. I know how final this sounds, but it’s best to prepare for the long haul then say ’see you soon’ and perhaps not come back. Everyone will be back, without exception or prejudice, I won’t let them fade, I won’t kick them out. It just might take me a bit.

No matter what, no one should ride Lissa on this one, this is me here, actually me, and for the first time since this started, I am pulling the plug, I wish it was stupid and petty, but it’s not. It’s just what has to be done. It is, I am told, all my fault. So there you go. Have fun with that one, and cut Lissa some slack. She gives 110% to you guys, and to me, don’t be craptards or I’ll lock your special someone in a room with Trent or Sarah.

Man, that’s evil.

*smirks*

This isn’t goodbye, it’s… well it’s not goodbye.

Letters from Sammy to:

Emmie

Hey,

So,  lockdown huh? Man, that sucks. Sucks for us all really, I don’t think any of us saw it coming, either ours or yours. Hope liss doesn’t bust your chops too hard. Don’t worry about D, he’s always like this. Always been a really huge pain in the ass, and though this time it’s justified, well we don’t have to let him know that. *grins* Since I owe ya one for not going balsitic on a guy for the whole out of bubble adventure of mine, I’ll keep an eye on the stupid kook for ya.

I said it once I have said it a thousand times Em, you are too good for the likes of him.

Sammy

Letters from Trent to:

Eric

You enjoy your lockdown, I’ll enjoy time with my wife.

Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me, but then you’d have to be dumber then she is to fall for her tricks. Enjoy what peace you have left.

T.

Letters from Wyllow to:

Eric

Emmie

Duckie,

Sorry our last night togather was so full of fighting.  It’s not how I wanted to spend my last few hours with you and Kay. I could blame hormones and all that, but, well come on, that’s just me.

I still don’t see why it’s a big deal, I never will. I am sorry.

Anyway, I’ll do like you asked, I’ll stay away from anyone that so much as frowns. Jake is offering to keep an eye out for me too, so hopefully you’ll rest easier knowing that my friends are looking out for me too. No, I still don’t think he’s serious, that’s all pretty… *giggles* well, it’s unlikely to say the least. Though I did ask him to stop saying all the stuff that makes you frown. He probably would anyway, what with me going to be the size of a small house soon. If that doesn’t help, well there’s also my dad and aunt, not to mention Sammy, and… well everyone! I am even bringing meesha. SO…

Eric, I love you. A lot. I am going to miss you more then you even know during all this. And when it’s over, and if you are dumb enough to pick a fight with me, well then I am going to kill you, then let meesha eat you.

No jokes.

Yeah, still serious.

Kitty food.

*grins*

Think of baby boy names, we can’t have a nameless baby boy, and keep the panda smiling for me okay? She probably will the whole time, but, you know? I am going to miss her too…

Really Eric, I love you more then anything else.

Wyllow (and the babies)

—

*She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, really tryign to reassure him that she was fine and she loved him and just… gah! Hopefully he wouldn’t stress overmuch, and would keep kay happy.*

—

Emmie

Hey! I know we said we’d do this baby thing togather, but look what went and happened. Lousy right? I mean, we finally have a chance to be totally girly togather! Ugh!

Anyway, sorry to dump mr grouchy pants on you. Feel free to kick him around as much as you want. I love him but there are times when he needs it. He even has kay this time around! He doesn’t get to sulk! I am going to miss you tons! Take care of yourself, and I’ll do the same!

Oh, and we are so hitting the strip when I get back! I love you!

Wyllow.

Letters from Jake to:

Eric

Emmie

David

Eric,

Lockdowns suck. Don’t worry about Trent, I’ll tell you what I told her, I’ll keep an eye out for her and make sure they don’t get near her. Even if that means I don’t leave her side. It’s a sacrifice I am willing to make, I know, really big of me right? Besides, you are going to have your hands full with your family, so do your best not to worry about Wyl.

Jake

–

*He rolled his eyes at Cresta, shaking his head at her interruption. Whatever dude, if Eric felt threatened, then there was nothing he could do about it. Hell… maybe he should feel that way… He gave a chuckle.*

–

Lioness,

Well, looks like you met the enforcer, hope he wasn’t too intimidating. Yeah, that’s my brother, you know, before he met you. At least, this is how he was when he left after the garage. Which… didn’t happen. Funny shit right? Don’t know what he was like when you met him, so I hope this isn’t too much of a shock.

Anyway, we know sarah, we are trying to work out a way to keep an eye on him. Problem is, the mood he’s in, if we try and warn him, he won’t listen. Might just hang out with her just to piss us off. Yeah, he can be petty like that. With any luck you mentioned to him something or another, if not it’s cool. We’ll just have to work on talking to him sooner rather then later.

Take care of my nephew, party at my place when we all have our big jail break.

Jake

–

David

Don’t take Dee personally, he’s just back to the way he was. You know, he wasn’t always a big ole softy, and he’s been through hell. With any luck he’ll be less rage fueled by the time this is over.

Well, with luck. I wouldn’t count on it. And I’d love to say it’s nothing personal, but he doesn’t usually lash out for absolutely no reason. SOoooo that’s all you. Can’t really help ya there.

Have a good one.

Jake

Dylan’s letters to:

Eric

David

Grams

Emmie

Hey, it’s kinda odd shooting a note to someone I don’t know. Well, you know me, but I have no idea who… just never mind.

Anyway, I hear you are Emmie’s brother, cool. It’s probably dumb to ask, but I am going to assume you are pretty close since you both hang with the guys. I was wondering if you think you could keep an extra bit of an eye on her for me? I’m not going to be around, hell, for all I know the moment they let me out, I am going to be deported to Australia or Italy or something stupid like that, and not see her for an extra amount of time on top of what we are all going to have to deal through. I’m really pissed that I am going to be missing more, and… well asking you makes me feel like I am sort of there, even though I am not.

Humor me okay? I don’t know if we are on good terms, or if you think I am just some stupid ass, but I am going to assume here that you are going to and everything is shibby.

Thanks dude, I owe ya one.

Dylan

—

David,

Despite the fact that you are Emmie’s dad and I know you are just looking out for her and the baby, you are still an ass. And though this is probably a shitty coincidence, I can’t help but feel that you are definitely getting your way on this one.

Look, I didn’t expect any sort of welcome home from the father of the woman I knocked up and effectively abandoned, insinuating circumstances or not, but I didn’t expect this either. Like it or not, I am part of her life, weather that’s a good thing, a bad thing, or something even she’ll want when she gets to know me for who I am now is going to be enough to muddle through without other people trying to make this hell on us.

My time with her was already limited, I can’t help but feel even more angry that I lost more because you decided that everything is my fault.

Here’s an idea, next time she’s flipping out, why not get on the fucking phone and get the person on it who is upsetting her. Bet that in the long run, hearing reassurance that my brain, her brain, or your brain isn’t getting fried from the source will be better then shooting her up with horse tranks.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Dylan

—-

Emmie’s grandmother,

Sorry about the way I left the other day, it was rude. It beat the alternitive though. Hope I didn’t spoil your evening.

Have a good holiday,

Dylan

—

Emmie,

God, there’s so much I want to say here… I don’t know if I’ll have it all written if I work on it for a week.

The timing for all this is pretty shitty, you are right, I just got back, just got thrown into all this, and look, I get to be pulled from it before I can even sort out my head.

Emmie, you are special, it doesn’t take a genus to figure that out. Being with you is the only thing that’s made sense since I came back to the valley. But… at the same time it doesn’t. I mean, I know how I feel, it’s pretty much the only thing I know lately, how I feel. And yes, okay, well I know how you feel too, I still know how to do that much.

You want me to help you forget him, wich doesn’t seem like the easiest task. Expecally since… I am me. So let me break down for you the reasons why I am not such a great guy. This way there are no surprises, and Hell, I really want this to work sooo:

1. I cheat. Sometimes I can’t help it.

2. I lie. Uh, usually about the cheating. Sometimes about what’s on my mind.

3. My job isn’t exactly steady dependable work.

4. I have been known to have problems with drugs.

Like I said, these things are usually the big problems that I run into when the subject of relationships come up. Now, number one I have been working on for years. But to be honest, it’s been a real big problem in the past. Now I am pretty sure that I have it pretty managable, but then again, there are times when I just get swept up. Excited crowds are my personal weakness, it does happen on occasion still, no matter how hard I work on things.

Number two, well I am totally willing to be honest with you about everything. I don’t want shitty lies to be our problem. I haven’t lied to you about anything on my mind so far, though I have tried to change the subject a time or two already. So far you don’t let me get away with it, which works for me. And if I clear up my problems with number one, well the rest of this won’t be a problem right? God I hope not. Keeping with the whole honesty thing, this is the first time I have pretty much gone ‘Hey, I am a lying cheating bastard’ to anyone. Ever.

As for three, well I can’t quit my job. I can’t not surf, and though I have the feeling you’ll never ask me to stop, I am just saying it. It’s pretty much the only thing I am good at. Not only do the guys depend on me, but well, there’s really nothing else that I could do that would make me this happy. (though being a dad doesn’t count, I sort of haven’t done that one yet, and though I am sure it’ll be awesome, I can’t exactly get paid for that right?) I’m just not happy away from the ocean.

As for the last, it’s not something I am proud of, but it’s also not something I am going to hide. I… okay it’s a bit of a story. See, I wasn’t born an empath, it sort of hit me suddenly, I went through problems for a couple of years, not going to get into exactly how it started, but it was with my add on’s. I couldn’t deal with it, I got hooked on some shit for a while, (no detail, I know, but unless you really want it, I am not going into it.) just to get by day to day, eventually though I almost lost everything, with help from the guys I cleaned up… mostly. See, once I got my head on straight I actually figured out that some of the shit I was given made the add on’s managable enough to allow me to learn control. Eventually I did get off of them, though I still have my moments, but I am going to be a father right? So that’s something I am going to cut off all together. This is probably my biggest secret Emmie. And it’s yours to do with what you want. I know you were shocked about me learning control, and well, I am guessing that he (I? Shit this is confusing!) didn’t go that route previously. Sorry then, this must all be a shock. Drugs are a really big deal, I know. And an ex addict is… well it’s huge.

If this seems like a good idea still, and… rereading this, I can’t say I’d blame you for running away and taking Ryan with you, as any one of those are typically deal breakers, then I am shocked, grateful, and amazed. I’m not going to assume anything though, that you are running or waiting until I hear from you. I’m putting all this down here so that you have time to think about it, it can’t be a great feeling seeing all this on print, but it’s the truth. It’s who I am now, not sure about if it’s who I used to be… or who he was… or.. God, however it goes. I really hope we can try for something, even if it’s only being friends like you said last night.

I have your journals with me, it’s a good idea, I’ll try and do the same during the lockdown, see if I can keep it up, ya know? Never really written more then quick notes before, this is pretty massive here, so I hope that I can get everything down. Don’t know that it’ll be as interesting as yours. Sorry that I have to miss more of Ryan’s development too. He’s a miracle Emmie, and I am amazed with what you’ve had to go through this far for him. You are going to be an awesome mother, hell you already are an awesome mother.

Not that anyone else needs to tell you, but rest up. I can’t wait to see you again, and I probably won’t leave you alone when I next see you. I wish I could say for sure that it’ll be the day the lockdown ends, but I have already been told that if the tour is going on, then I am going to go wherever it is immediately. Sucks, I know. But I have to think of Ry now too right? And I can’t let the guys down, not after all they did to get me on this tour to start with.

I’ll be thinking of you every minute I get, we’ll make some new memories soon, I promise.
Dylan

*Of all the letters, the one to Emmie was the hardest. It all felt so… odd around here, like this was final. He hated that feeling, and hoped to god he was wrong. Could just be him, the new guy worrying about it right? Everyone around here was gloomy, so that was probably it…*

Letters from Colton to:

Ren

Phil

Ren,

I don’t know what to say, because I have always been shitty at this. I left because I had to, you’ll probably never understand, okay. I can deal with that.

I’m still pissed.

No, I will not leave him alone. As a matter of fact I plan on doing the opposite.

Enjoy your break. Looks like you finally get a real one.

-c.

—

Phil

The kid isn’t mine. I didn’t sleep with her.

-c.

Letters from Sarah to:

Emmie

Lynn

Hey there sunshine!

Don’t worry, I won’t take the chair thing out of his hide… much. You have a temper on you, don’tcha? Well, remember to get plenty of bed rest, and lots of sleep. I’ll do my best to make sure your surfer stays in bed too. *grins*

After all, he fell for it once, whose to say now that he’s wand less, defenseless, and oh so yummi that he won’t fall for it again? This time I have my wand on my side. Hell it doesn’t have to even be me, I’m not selfish, and he’s a bit more commitment phobic this time around right?

I wonder if he can still do that one thing with his tongue…

Guess I should find out!

Sarah

—

*She smiled to herself, quite pleased. There were some jobs that could only be pulled during a lockdown… though this one would have to hit everyone, there was no way she could be specific without getting caught…*

—

Doing my best to work on the problem, not sure how far I’ll get. Sorry. There’s only so much that can be done. Going to make the loft implode in on itself, with any luck no one will want anything to do with anyone.

At least half your problem is going away too. Try and keep it together, okay? I’ll be back when I can.

Sarah

Kyo’s letters to:

Cera

Cera,

I apologize if you find my words hard to follow, I am less used to writing then I am to English as a whole.

Normally one of these happen with no warning, we are simply taken from eachother, and I spend my time wishing that I had the chance to say goodbye. It seems I have gotten my wish, and far from actually making things easier, I find that I started to miss you almost immediately.

No one can know how long this will be in effect, it may take a few weeks, or we may be apart for months. Even the former seems difficult, as I find it hard to go a few days without seeing your smile.

Cera, your beauty is only matched by your grace and intelligence. There isn’t a day that I do not count myself lucky for being in your life, and I will gladly priase the powers that let me be the one that you chose to love.

I will think of you often, like always, and gretly anticipate the next time I can hold you in my arms.

Kyo

*He smiled sadly at the paper, hoping the words could convey the message. There was no tone on paper, and tone was how he was used to putting meaning behind the words. Nodding to himself, because that was as good as he was going to be able to manage, he put his notebook on top of the pile and left the room.*

Letters Reggie wrote to:

Emmie

Eric

Ren

*Seeing her chance, Reggie took it. Knowing the types she was writing to, she knew that it was pretty unlikely they’d ever read these, but hey, what the hell. She heard a lot of stuff around here. Might as well act upon it.*
To the great manipulative one,

You still think you are hot shit, don’t ya? I still say it’s really handy that you got knocked up exactly when it happened, after all, he would have walked for real this time. (We both know it, hell you might not though, I saw him a hell of a lot more then you did around that time.) And look at that, lucky you, you have a new surfer to push and test at, and he can’t walk because of the baby! Lucky you.

Anyway, the point of all this is you are a bitch, I don’t like you, and I am not the only one who feels that way. You really are worse then sarah, after all, she didn’t scrub his past. You could have, I donno, told other people so we could have been there for him, instead you pulled this tragic heroine bullshit and are driving him crazy in a whole new way. Hopefully he’ll see what kind of person you are and walk, but as that never worked in the past, then maybe I’ll just watch as he’s driven away from the valley forever by all the shit that’s going to happen soon. As much as I don’t want to see that happen, it’s got to be better then watching the slow torture like I have been for the last few years. Like it’s really so fucking hard to be nice to someone you love. Like you couldn’t have cut him a break at all? Whatever bitch.

R

—

To the idiot,

Seriously, you haven’t noticed a jump in all the shit she’s been saying about herself?

Look, Wyllow is annoying, over happy, lame and oh, annoying! But even someone with your limited outside awareness of others had to have noticed that it’s only in the last couple of months that she really feels like she’s lucky she doesn’t need instructions to breathe. Look around you twit, someone who isn’t you is feeding her this shit. No, it’s not a friend. GOD I can’t beleive you need it pointed out to you! In all likelihood it’s more then one source. Not everyone is going to be open about their dislike you know, but you only look for the obvious.

Fucking fix it or she’s going to end up in a bad way. Handy news before a lock down right? Well deal with it, you won’t talk to me. For a paranoid jackass you sure do let a lot of nasty shit happen to her. Must run in the family.

R

—

Ren

One’s telling the truth, one’s hiding something. Helps that they both have their secrets huh? The problem is, once you figure it out, it’ll be too late. Not only that, but you’ll more then likely be either stuck or alone. Sux, but hey, it’s life.

R

—

*She looked at the letters, wondering why the fuck she bothered to be nice. Besides the letter to Emmie-the-bitch, that’s all the rest were, niceness on her part because she was sick of things! Whatever, they wern’t going to listen anyway, but hell, she gave it a shot.*